The Day the Electric Came Back

Life for all of us on the East Coast has been a little hectic as the storm named Sandy ripped through our communities.  No matter how we have coped with our personal experiences, tragedies and losses I know that we all will stand back up, brush ourselves off and move forward in our lives.  I know that I  pull into myself as tight as possible to try to fight the depression that I am so used to dealing with.   So I find myself distraught instead with nowhere to go with it.

Stuck in the house with power lines down on both sides of my driveway gave me a lot of time to reflect on my purpose.  In my life I have let a lot of people down by my decisions to become reclusive when I can't deal with life.   So when Isagenix came along I realized that there was a support system there that I never knew existed in life.  I could say anything I felt and noone took it personally.   I could cry every November mourning the loss of my husband.   I could share that my daughter made the Dean's list and everyone rooted her on.    She could post in Masterminds and ask everyone to vote for her to win a contest at her school.   I could cry my eyes out and scream and shout that Star (my miracle dog) was run over in a hit and run and was going to die.  I found myself and with that I found all of you.   All of you wonderful people who are walking through life with me as I am walking through life with you.

The electric company opened the left exit out of my home on Halloween evening and I was able to get out to take this photograph for my daughter.  This is a local farm stand where she and I always go to celebrate Halloween.    And it was still standing.  The day before a tree came down on the road opposite it - into their driveway - and it was still standing.   This photograph means more to me than anything else because I was able to still give her the joy while she was stuck in Long Island dealing with the hurricane there.

 So then we come to yesterday.   My local electric company had not responded to the many requests to get us up and running.  We were 18 houses out on a small road.   And then I could hear the ringing noise that comes when big trucks back up and knew that something was going on outside on the road.   I walked out to see what it was but discovered when I tried to talk to the first lineman that noone spoke English.   On my second trip out  I had grabbed my camera to take photos of what was going on and I was introduced to Patrick Katulka, Vice President of Operations for AMPCO Electric out of Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  He told me not to worry, that he was not leaving until the power was on.  And I believed him.  I could see the commitment and the dedication in his eyes.   I knew he was a man used to dealing with danger.  Did not realize until I started to crop the photos and could zoom into all the electrical joints how really really reallty hard a job these people had.  It was when that reality hit, that I realized that my reality of not putting my butt on the line was a lot of what led me to becoming depressed and distraught.  When I do put my butt on the line I am committed and dedicated.   Caring what people think about me has kept me a prisoner.   So I am ready to let that go and just be.

This is dedicated to everyone in my life - those who are pissed at me for dropping out - those who love me just the way I am.  Those who want me to be different and those who want me to be the same.  I love you no matter what.